Dec 25, 2020

Screw & Nail Chronicles Pt. 1: A Christmas Curse (A Short Hallmark Gay Porn Story)



1.

“No, seriously, this is the only place in town with no Christmas stuff. Not a single wreath in sight. Just a hardware store with zero holiday cheer. Can you imagine? Oh I bet you can, you bore. I don’t know, I hope he’s a serial killer. That could be fun!”

James was standing on a ladder, reaching for a box on a top shelf and holding his phone to his ear with his shoulder. The ladder wobbled as he tried to pull the box from the shelf.

“Well, we have different definitions of fun then. Listen, I’ll call you later, I kinda need both hands now. Not for that! Alright, tell Liz and kids their gay uncle said hi. Bye, man.”

James finally got a firm grasp on the box and held it in front of himself, leaning precariously backwards as he stepped down the ladder. His foot met the floor earlier than James expected, and he lost his balance completely, falling into the arms of a man who came to the rescue at the last moment.

As James turned around, he first felt stubble scratch his ear and then saw his boss holding him steady.

“Everything okay, James?”

“Yeah, thanks, Mr. Kelly. Just being a little clumsy, rattling the chains, you know,” James shook the box with a deep metallic sound. “Marley was dead, to begin with.”

“Humbug,” said Mr. Kelly and took the box from James. “What did I tell you about holiday cheer?”

“No holiday cheer. Store policy. Sorry, sir. No cheer from now on, sir.”

“Get back to work, James. There’s a whole crate of light bulbs to unpack and put on the shelves. I’ll do deliveries and will be back in no time,” said Mr. Kelly and took the box. He stood in the door and turned to James again. “And I’m not a serial killer. Sorry about that.”

Mr. Kelly went to his truck, leaving James blushing alone at the store.

“A lot to unpack indeed.”